zenprodigy

It’s time to set the bar in addition to implementing certain changes coupled with some fine-tuning and attitude adjustments to bring about a life altering experience, a 180 degree transformation for the greater good. You can call it a wake up call. I call it a brighter discontent and a necessary measure of utmost importance needed to be taken to heed in the right direction, to crawl out of the darkness and into the light, and by all means a battle against my inner self that I cannot afford to lose, to outdo myself as well as to challenge myself in order to achieve new heights that has always been beyond my grasp.

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I’m taking a huge risk, stepping out of my comfort zone, wanting to make this happen so badly that I’m willing to sacrifice certain aspects of my life that has always been of some significance to me, one way or another. It would only make sense to convince and to induce myself into believing that I can be better time and time again, to aim for the stars, surpassing my very own expectations and to hope for the best.

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If only there was an easy way out but unfortunately life isn’t ideal, it all boils down to how far am I willing to take this on to accomplish what I’ve been wanting to all these while. One aim. One opportunity. One shot at goal. I just have to orchestra a comeback and execute the appropriate plans plus making sure that every bit of it counts, to compensate for my own inadequacy and ineptness in the past so as to rectify my slip ups up till now. No more screwing up. No more excuses. From here own it’s self actualization all the way, that’s my ultimate desideratum for now.

I’ve messed up but I don’t know what went wrong. Guess I didn’t see it coming. I tried to fix things. I tried to mend my ways. Little by little, I picked myself up and went back on the designated track and still happen to manage something out of nothing, an accomplishment that I’m proud off. And then what happens? One mistake from the past, one mistake was all it took to knock me off my feet in the present, as I watch my world come crashing down on me through the lenses of my very own eyes. I tried my best, but it’s not enough, it never was and it’ll never be. Somehow, somewhere, something just wasn’t quite the way it was meant to be. It’s partly my fault, tough luck altogether but like I said, my fault. Wish I could turn back time and work things out so that everything would turn out for the better. Sigh. I’m burnt out. Wouldn’t it be nice, to be able to lay down for just awhile, just for one moment where time would practically freeze and everything else would eventually come to a complete stand still. Peace of mind. That’s all I’m asking for. Now, it’s back to square one, where it all begins, again.